Be Fair (Week 5-ish)

fair: free from bias or injustice; courteous, civil

This week’s BE is interesting for me to write, as it’s a topic that comes up in my various circles of girlfriends from time to time.

It has been said that I am quick to cut people off at the knees once we have experienced a major conflict. That’s not always the case (it can be, but not always). I have learned that people are in your life for a reason; and they can stay for season or a lifetime. Transition is good and sometimes it is necessary.

maya-angelou-quoteWhen people are no longer good for your life, it makes no sense to keep them in it thinking that they will change. As Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” You have to be the change agent.

But there are times when people are having a “moment,” a time in their life when their actions might not be a true reflection of how they feel but a result of the storm that they are in. It is in these times, that you must look at the situation through a different lens and give them some room and some support.

The challenge is to know the difference between toxic and troubled.

So BE FAIR! Be free from bias in your judgement and courteous and civil with your words. Know when to keep people close and when to let them go. Take people for who they are, accept them as they are and meet them where they are. Cut the toxic people out of your life and show compassion for those who are experiencing troubling times.

Strive to be fair in your judgement, your words and your actions and let compassion and civility prevail.

3 comments on “Be Fair (Week 5-ish)

  1. Peady @ Tempered With Kindess

    Well put!


    This is what I refer to in my own life as digging deep and “tempering it with kindness”.

    There will be times when conflict arises and trouble – big trouble, sometimes – will show it’s not-so-lovely face. Decisions must be made. Self preservation might be the only option. If we are safe and sound and with people who truly belong in our lives we can say what we need to say (tempered with kindness, of course) and even if it’s difficult to say or hear, everyone is better for it.

    Then there will be times when Maya’s words scream inside your head and walking away for good is for the best.

    Either way, there is always some lesson to be garnered from the experience. Isn’t that amazing?

    1. Peady @ Tempered With Kindness

      Don’t you just love it when your own blog title has a typo and *you* are the one to blame?

      Ah, typos! Keeping me humble since I first touched my mother’s typewriter when I was a teeny Thing! 🙂

    2. LT

      Peady, you rock! I always enjoy reading your comments because you just GET IT! If you don’t learn from the experience, what was the point of going through it?

      I wish you an amazing day today!

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